GOOD THING HE'S NOT A TEACHER...

'CAUSE HE AIN'T GOT NO CLASS!

(or that's what you get for letting your husband choose his own clothes)

Gedda Grip



I've talked, from time to time, of my beautiful daughter who beats people up for fun and looks beautiful doing it. I'm not sure if I mentioned, somewhere in blogdom, if I mentioned that she, her husband and son love to ride quads as well.


As with other things, she manages to become covered in mud and still look stunning:

Lately, there have been many stressful things going on in her life. Like many of us, she feels as though she can take the blame for all the mistakes in the world and therefore managing to lessen the burden on the hearts of others. As a mother, I certainly understand, but remember...she's a second degree black belt. I can't slap her silly!

This morning, I got an email from her talking about how stressed out her dog was, and how she felt guilty about that (now who didn't know THAT would happen eventually)...and then she went on to say this:

"Then, on my way into work, I get behind 2 people at 2 different times going under 30 MPH!!! I don’t even SEE 2 people on that drive much less get behind them! Well, just as I made the decision to ram the second one, I was attacked! Blitzed! There was an animal in my car!!! Over my shoulder flutters the hugest, most perfect butterfly I had ever seen and it landed on my hand! Well, that was like a message from god telling me to get a grip. I really laughed! I had to check to be sure that no one was behind me so I could stop and let him out. I didn’t wanna chuck him out the window at 30MPH!!! "

That's like every mama's dream...when you have that aha! moment when you realize that your child knows something you want them to know!!! Wanna see what she looks like when she smiles?

Remember to stop and let the butterflies out of your car...

It's going to be a busy weekend. Tony's girlfriend graduates tonight, tomorrow is her party...then Sunday all my kids will be here for a cookout. Maybe I'll have pictures of all of them to share when I get back. Until then, here's a picture of all my kids (and grandson), Christmas, 1997!

Peace!

A Standing Ovation...



And a huge THANK YOU to the Penguins for the year of outstanding hockey. I can't remember enjoying hockey as much since the early '90s and I'm so looking forward to next season!



You played hard, you played strong, you made me proud. Now go and have a great summer. I'll be back when you are.

Don't wake me before 9 AM...

I have cramps in both my bum cheeks tonight! It's 1 AM and the Pens just won in triple overtime!

God Bless Us (or heaven help me)!

There will be no photos to illustrate this post. I'll explain later.

We've been doing lots of yard work here at the house on the hill: The perennial garden had to be refreshed, the herb garden needed a ton of work (never let a 19 year old plant perennials in the first place) and of course, fences had to be installed to prevent a certain 175 pound dog from a) drinking all the water out of the bird bath and b) napping on top of your favorite lavendar plants.

Some things had to go, so had to be moved and of course, some new things came to stay.

All during this, we kept the dogs out with us as much as possible. Arnie, the shep/collie mix, uses the underground fence system (or at least we THINK he does. We really haven't checked to see if it works in two years). Linda and Bill stay pretty close to us, but require constant watching.

On Saturday, we were both busy when I uttered (for the 101 millionth time in the past 11 months), "Where's Bill?"

Mark replied, "He's right..."

We both looked to where he WAS ten seconds ago: no Bill.

Then we heard a squeal behind the row of hemlock trees that divides us from the house behind us (where the lovely young ladies lay on blankets wearing bikinis and hoping of a tan but accepting the risk of skin cancer). Of course Mark became a super hero and sprang to the rescue (be it from man or beast).

Turned out it was beast. Bill, who honestly can't figure out why everyone doesn't love him, was spreading huge slingers across large areas of exposed flesh.

Reluctantly, Mark came home dragging an even more reluctant Bill.

That evening, two ladies from the next street over drove half way up our drive to meet Bill and ask just what he was. Mark talked to them. Guess he didn't think it would be appropriate for me to give my stock answer (a pain in the ass) to strangers.

Sunday is my day to sleep in, sometimes as late as 8:30, but I was almost awake when Mark came into the room at 8 to announce he couldn't find Bill anywhere.

I think I was dressed (sans sock and bra) and downstairs in 30 seconds and out the back door in another two. Andy and Kailyn were there, Mark was already leaving in the van (our neighborhood is sprawling). I sent Kailyn down the hill, Andy behind us and I headed up the hill.

A few minutes later, I head the thundering sound of a hundred horses' hoof beats. I knew it was Bill. He came rushing towards me and at the last minute, veered off to the left (he's been watching too many westerns) and headed home.

I shouted that I had him so Andy and Kailyn could stop searching and reached for my cell phone to call Mark.

Mark answered with, "I found him! He was IN the church. Not AT the church, IN the church!"

There are 5 houses between us and the church (I know, strange place to put a church...but God is everywhere, you know). According to the sexton, Bill greeted him when he came to open the door for worship and the followed him INTO the church where he made himself at home, lounging in the doorway, until Mark came along.

I think Bill is God's message to us: three dogs are certainly enough...maybe a wee bit too much...

So why no photos? Couldn't take pictures of something that wasn't here: dog-gone!

Squeezing My Bum Cheeks!

Years ago, when I was teaching my younger brother to drive, when he got in a tight squeeze, I would squeeze my bum cheeks together, as if that would make my school bus yellow VW Beetle smaller.



At first, I didn't tell him, but once I confessed, he seemed pleased. Occasionally, when the streets were narrow and the cars were huge, he'd ask me to squeeze them.



In the 30 years since then, when someone in our family gets in a tight squeeze, we tell them that we'll squeeze our bum cheeks together for them.



Tonight, it wasn't my brother, but the entire Pittsburgh Penguins team that had me squeezing my cheeks for them....and this time it worked...it really worked. These big ol' bum cheeks finally got the fans some of the best hockey I've ever seen...it was amazing, but now, whew...I'm tired!

Oh my goodness! Look at that adorable little pup in the previous post. Ever wonder what he looks like now?

Wonder no more...

This is Bill at 9 months!

He wears an XXL Tall man's dress shirt (yellow is his color)...And an XXL t-shirt (and yes, my kids keep dressing him up).
Are you wondering what Bill and Linda have been up to? Well, just before Christmas, we got new leather furniture that the dogs are not allowed to sit on, according to my hubby. Here's a photo of my husband and Bill and Linda and the furniture that dogs are not allowed to sit on:


On Monday, I left both dogs in the living room while I took a shower. When I came downstairs, this is what I saw:
Linda, rolling in something that looked like popcorn...but then I realized it was foam rubber stuffing! My sofa??? No, it was a pillow.

I screamed and both dogs sprung to attention:

I asked who-done-it. They said it was the cat and they could prove it
But I noticed something hanging off Bill's flews:
So I said to him what every mother of bad dogs/children says, "Wait 'till your father gets home!"

Well, he did come home and he took one look at my face and decided he'd better do something nice...cause if mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy...so he got the proper tools and proceeded clean up. Andy helped:


I was very upset. I asked the dogs if they were sorry. I think the were:

At least Bill was. I assigned them extra chores for punishment. Linda had to clean the windows:

Since Bill is dumber than a red brick and weighs slightly more than a truck load of them, his chore was to keep the driveway from blowing away:

The end.

Dad's Last Dollar Bill


I wish I could come here and report all those artsy fartsy thing I've done, all the wonderful things my kids have accomplished and how close I have come to meeting my life goals.


Sadly, all I have done is watch this darn 4 legged furry bladder grow and tinkle (with a few turds along the way). Hopefully, all this will pass.


Until then, please join me and enjoy Dad's Last Dollar Bill, or Bill for short:

Until I learn another trick,

Peace!

Jan

PS: Guess I'd better explain the name change, right? Found out the family HATED the name and when we found out about a cat named...ASKIM...and since he didn't seem to notice WHAT we were calling him...and since he had to have a name, his official name is: Dad's Last Dollar Bill or Bill for short.

It really does seem to fit him and it certainly goes with Linda and Arnie!

He has a name!

Finally, after many false starts, our new little guy has a name: Askim.

Tony wins the prize and we've had a great time all weekend with it.

"What's his name?"

"Askim"

"What's your name, little guy?"

"Askim."

Duhhhhhhh.

He also has a friend:

Happy Birthday, Baby Andrew!

Just time for a quick post to wish my middle son, "Baby"Andrew a happy 21st birthday! Mark and I drove to Wheeling to spend the day with him at a jeep event.

Of course, he got to wear 'the hat' that I got for my birthday:

Oh, and someone else wore a party hat too:

Happy Birthday, sweets...you make me proud and I love you!

Don't mess with Vic!

I have a teeny tiny daughter who is one of those women we all hate: She can walk for miles in 4" heels. She can walk into a store and ask if something comes in a size 4 and they know she wants it for her self. Her hair is long and naturally curly! Her teeth are the exact shade of white that my dentist assured me never happens in real teeth (but she is proof that it does!). She is so girly that she asked the bank where she works to give her the title LOAN PRINCESS.

She loves clothes! She loves shoes! She loves fashion accessories. Here is a picture of her latest accessory:

Yes! Last night she sparred with tons of black belted people, broke a bunch of boards and reached one of her dreams: Her second degree black belt. I didn't realize that she was testing last night because she did not tell me at my request. I cannot handle the huge amount of stress or seeing people kicking at my only daughter. I only knew after she came running into house at 10 PM, in tears.

I did what any mother would do. I cried too, and then I reached for my camera, of course. This is what she looks like after fighting off scores of black belted people, sobbing with joy and breaking her mother's camera:
Well, I'm not sure she broke it, but my flash refused to go off. Still...no flash, horrible over head lights, tears and all, doesn't she look pretty?

I'm so proud, but I certainly won't mess with her...

We have a new baby in the family!

Meet____________, the dog with no name! He's an English Mastiff (yes,another one) and almost 9 weeks old and weighs in at about 30 pounds. Although he looks black, he has light strawberry blonde stripes. Interesting combination. Right now he's asleep, but it wasn't always that way


Yes, he has a wrinkle on his nose! Isn't he adorable?

Yes, he's on the dash of my van, waiting for his daddy to bring coffee.
Yes, they do get big (just look at Linda!) but they are called Gentle Giants and the term is well deserved. I tried to hold out, but just because when two of the three dogs in our family will reach a total weight of about 300 pounds or more isn't a reason not to adopt...is it?

He has no name. So far, the family has suggested: U-Joint, Wood Chipper (or Woody or Chipper for short), Walter, Tiny, Snowball and Puff.

What do YOU think?

Shhhhh...

Meet

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!

This morning, I looked out in the driveway and saw my son cleaning his golf clubs before leaving for his first ever college golf team match. I got all sniffly and ran for my camera.

And then, I looked in the trunk of his car. Doesn't this look like a single golf nerd's car?
And the I remembered it was his birthday! His 19th! One great thing about him being 19 is that he has a girlfriend who took over my kitchen all day to make a birthday dinner for Tony and two other friends. It was late when they got back from the match, so they ate by candle light.
She even baked a cake with lovely Happy Birthday Candles!
Mark said it was the best lasagna he ever tasted. Sorry about the bad photo...I was sniffling again...I get very emotional!
Oh...Tony is wearing my Happy Birthday hat that the kids bought me on vacation this year. I think we'll be seeing this often! My photos of Morgan and Tony are so terrible and they are such a handsome couple. Here's proof:
Taken on August 14,their 6 month anniversary!

Oh, and if your van windows have vertical slobber tracks like this:

It probably means that there is a mutt and a mastiff inside, getting to take your car (probably without permission).

Sweet Dreams, all!

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

I want red socks!
I know, you weren't expecting me to speak again this soon, but I still want RED socks.

Not corally socks,not orangy socks, not maroony socks, not pinky socks. RED socks. No slubs, no streaks...just RED socks in some sumptuous, sproingy, superwash sock yarn.

I have found sock yarn that has the name, but apparently they can't play the game.

Opal, you broke my heart. Your RED is ORANGE. (I know, my RED isn't really RED, but you get the picture, I'm sure.)

Anyone have any suggestions?

So...this is where I've been:

I'm trying to remember just when I last spoke with any of you...I know it was long, long ago and much has happened. Like most of the things in my life, I think I have to keep working something until it's perfect before I let you see. I realize now it just ain't going to happen. There will be no perfection here in this blog anytime soon.

Just to catch you up, I'll tell you what has been going on here, in this dusty house on the hill. Photos are always available, but you have to ask...

Since my last REAL post:

• Mark took my mother and me on a luncheon cruise on the gateway clipper for mother's day. The weather was perfect, the lunch was wonderful and we did not tussle, spar or throw each other overboard.

• Andy and Kailyn got engaged. I am not looking for my mother-of-the-groom dress because they are looking at a long engagement and everyone knows I'll be skinny by time she graduates from college.
  

• Tony graduated from high school. I was certain that I was going to be a basket case, after all, this is my baby, but I got to thinking...my mother-of-the-student stint was 33 years long and I was READY to retire my PTA badge. By time they announced his name, I was feeling rather smug and very victorious!!!
  

• Although I was feeling smug and victorious, I was heartbroken. I love his name...his first name was my father's name, his middle name is Mark's grandmother's maiden name. These names were carefully chosen and a source of pride. I couldn't believe it when they announced him as TONY-middle name-last name. TONY???? When I asked, he said they were given the choice and since they would not announce him as Conquistador, he chose Tony.
  

• We finally had our driveway paved. We probably would have been better off to invest the money in medical school for all four children. It was expensive. It took forever. I hate it. The paver is coming next week to make me happy. Tune in for another chapter...
  

• We had our annual July 4th picnic on July 7th this year. Two days before the picnic, when Mark mentioned he had invited yet another person, I forced him to sit down and take a count on just how many people he expected since we supply the meat, buns and beer. He said not many, that means he had invited about 65 people. We were blessed: only 53 were here to eat.

• Last year's party was memorable because one of Andy's friends is a licensed pyrotechnician and we had fireworks. This year Mark's brother and his wife brought their Moon Walk (yes, one of those inflatable rooms that you jump in). I think the adults had more fun than the kids.

• We took our third annual 'last family vacation' this year. Every year we say that the boys are growing up, finding new thing to do, working, going to school...surely next year they won't want to go with us. This year we not only took them, but we took the girlfriends/fiances as well! I was thrilled since the girls could not understand the boys until they had seen Thousand Islands...it's just a part of who we are.

• Patricia and Sandro, the owners of the houseboat that we rented for our island vacation since Tony was 12, finally retired. We had to find another way to see the islands.

• We did...a wonderful, small, family run motel that was quiet, attractive, immaculate, reasonable, and right on the shipping channel. I think we rented half of their rooms. Imagine sitting on the lawn, eating breakfast, and seeing a freighter slipping past!

• This was the first time in 4 years that Mark and I were in the same state on my birthday. Not only were we in the same state, but we were on vacation. I had gotten used to celebrating alone, but this time all 6 of us plus Patricia and Sandro celebrated...makes getting older much easier!

• On the first day of my vacation, I got the message that my dear and brave friend, Dave, in Washington state, had died. Dave was a parapelegic who was confined to his bed for the past 4 years. RIP, Dave!

• Both boys enrolled in college. Andy's company reimburses his tuition so he's a part time student and works full time. Tony's job slows down in late October and will come to a temporary halt in January, so he's going full time and working part time.

• Andy took us for a tour of his company and to see some of the work he's doing. I don't have permission to talk too much or to show photos, but let me tell you, they are engineering marvels...he has much to be proud of!

• Mark is finally scheduled to have foot surgery in two weeks. Although we are not looking forward to his recuperation (if men had the babies, we would have remained childless, he would not have made it through morning sickness), we are hoping it helps. He has a bone spur on the tip of his toe and his baby toe needs to be pointed in a more appropriate direction.

• Two weeks ago, early on a Saturday morning, my 75 year old mother called to tell me that she had fallen off a ladder while cleaning gutters. I asked if she was okay, she said yes. I asked if she needed me to come, she said yes. When I got there, I found that she was sitting (the neighbors had carried her into the house) and couldn't get up. We called the ambulance. Final tally was a broken pelvis in 2 places, a broken rib and a broken elbow. She is now in an assisted living facility until she can get around better. They are saying another 2 to 3 weeks.

• We are selling her ladder. She is grounded.

• On August 1, I lost another old friend to complications of life with diabetes. I think it was a wake up call. My fasting blood sugar this morning was 146. I need to slap myself around.

• I am knitting every chance I get. I have given out a few pair of socks that were supposed to be Christmas gifts. Not sure that I'll hit the 20 pair target, but I'll be close!

And that, my dear friends, is my life up to now, in a nutshell.

What? You need photos? Here's just a few:

The Happy Couple

The Ring! The Graduate!
The Chow Line, 7/07/07The view from our room

Thousand Islands

The guys on 'the rock.' I take a photo of the three of them, on this rock, every time we go there since Tony was two!

The kids at Boldt Castle

Sunset from our room!

Till next time!